The Rifts that Naruto Trips
by Kyuubi16
Summary: The only Tripping the Rift like Fanfic you will find. What if Bobo was more competent? What if Naruto was the captain of the Jupiter forty-two? What if Adam was a douche as always?  As always Sexiness and Hilarity ensues.
1. Captain's Log

The Rifts that are Tripped

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Naruto x Harem

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''Normal Speech''

_Inner Thoughts, Dialogue, or reading passages from books and scrolls_

(Quick Notes and Messages or Echoes.)

**(Dark over lapping echoes)**

**''Boss Summons, Demons, Dark beings speaking, Demonic/Angry characters Speaking as well as extremely Dark spells and Magic.''**

000

Chronological order of series is on profile my profile. Also today is my birthday, May 9. So henceforth I wish for reviews.

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Story start

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_If you're viewing this journal then that means someone has finally come across my memoirs and you must be halfway insane if you've gotten this far in the story. This is another outrageous adventure by yours truly, Uzumaki Naruto. You see in this latest misadventure I'm the captain of the Maelstrom six as I call it. Yes yet another play off of my name, if you don't like it then bite me I really don't care._

_Anyway I suppose I should introduce my crew. I start with the Spaceship, Bob. That's right, his name is Bob and he has Agoraphobia. A spaceship afraid of space. If you could hear my sigh of annoyance you would think I'm about to kill something. Not to mention the damn panic attacks. The only reason I haven't got rid of the annoyance was because he's fast and most of my useless crew members always causing us to lose money._

_Then there's Whip, who's taking to calling me uncle. He's a bipedal alien reptile. A lazy and often nasty slacker who seems to be controlled by his hormones and the only reason I haven't got rid of him is because he's my Morality pet apparently. Oh and I occasionally find usefulness of his chameleon abilities even though I can do similar and better. I'm just a bit of a lazy ass like that. Like everyone else he seems to have fifty copies of the same outfit. A dark blue shirt and jeans I think._

_Then there is T'Nuk. Oh god T'nuki Layor and how should I describe her. Ill-tempered, triple-breasted, quadrupedal, and amorous pilot. Her clothing can only be described as six times sweat pants and top. I wish she wore something like bright orange instead of purple so I could at least be temporarily blinded whenever I had to look at her. And for those who her who don't seem to understand why I say she's ill tempered and I'm annoyed by her. Her name is Royal Kunt backwards. Make of that what you will._

_My semi-competent robot slave Gus. I can somewhat understand him. Why do I have a robot slave you may ask? Well he certainly wouldn't work for me as a friend or free and would be just as quick to leave me to my execution...the bastard. Anyway he's a golden and very effeminate robot. At first I made fun of him for being closeted homosexual just because how girly he acted sometimes, but the cynical bastard keeps doing very stereotypical gay things. _

_ And now the only worthwhile member of the crew, former Sex slave and Cyborg, Six of Nine. Whose sensual voice oddly sounds like Gina Ger...Gina Ger...damn I don't remember her name. I really got to stop changing them every four months. Anyway she's the science officer and was obviously built to be the perfection of physical arousal. Large breasts, Long legs, a large round ass, slim stomach and small waist with soft plump lips and I could go on. Not to mention she wears a short white, see through dress with short exotic violet hair. Thank god her sense of decency does not cancel out how sexual she is. _

_And man the crazy shit we have gotten into throughout the years. Yeah, on one hand the latter was worth it to deal with the rest of these asses. On the other hand I have to deal with said asses. I wonder if that purple blob Chode would have sold me his crew if Six was initially part of the crew. Oh well, I suppose it doesn't matter now. His loss. Man...I can tell you, it all started back with that God incident..._

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Chapter End

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The one and only Tripping the Rift story and crossover. You will find no one else who has ever done this. I looked. And the episodes are on NETFLIX! So yeah...anyway see you later.


	2. God or the Bang Part 1

The Rifts that are Tripped

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Naruto x Harem

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''Normal Speech''

_Inner Thoughts, Dialogue, or reading passages from books and scrolls_

(Quick Notes and Messages or Echoes.)

**(Dark over lapping echoes)**

**''Boss Summons, Demons, Dark beings speaking, Demonic/Angry characters Speaking as well as extremely Dark spells and Magic.''**

000

Chronological order of series is on profile my profile. Also today is my birthday, May 9. So henceforth I wish for reviews.

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Story start

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It was just another average day amongst the board of the Maelstrom Six as Naruto like to refer to them as? Why? Because he could be the sort of bastard like that sometimes. Anyway Naruto was reading through a book while taking glances at Six who was on the floor putting both her legs behind her leg in a fashion that was only capable by triple-jointed gymnast.

''Anyone notice we keep passing the same stars and planets every thirty seconds?'' Whip asked as Naruto face palmed.

''It's the screen saver Whip.'' Naruto said pulling out the remote and deactivating it so the actual background of space could be seen.

''Oh...much better!''

Spaceship Bob was soon flying across numerous billboard signs advertising all sorts of things. It was the days like this that Naruto was reminding just how much time he had spent in this dimension. Billboards of strangely dressed cows advertising to eat meat and not soy along with an oddly shaped green alien holding a burger with the words Alien burger crunched into the north western part of the billboard filled the screen.

Though what stood out was a massive walrus looking alien in a coat and wearing a large golden clock like a necklace soon appeared on the screen. ''Come to the beginning of time!''

'Stop the ship!'' Naruto ordered as Bob came to a crashing halt. ''Time travel! Everyone can do it now, but not everyone can go back to the 'beginning' of time, in fact no one could until today. Reserve a spot on our maiden voyage now.'' The fleshy skinned hairy chested alien declared dramatically.

''You know what the best part about going back to the beginning of time means?'' Naruto asked his crew mates.

''Yeah not having to remember what you did yesterday.'' Whip answered as Naruto scowled.

''Which you apparently already do,'' a rather annoyed Naruto responded. He didn't know why he even bother taking the slacker with him. He should have left him with the attourties, but Naruto's damn pride wouldn't let him. He was determined to track down the boy's mother and make her take him back as revenge for the stunt he pulled. In hindsight considering his infamous luck it was one of many self inflicted things that Naruto could have easily avoided if he could just let things go sometime. ''But no besides that it gives a chance to see how the universe was created.'' Naruto was curious if there was a ruling deity or not for this dimension. If so maybe he or she could point him in the right direction he was trying to get too.

''I think we already know,'' Gus spoke up in that rather effeminate tone of his. ''It was the good lord himself!''

''I don't know Gus I think it was the big bang!'' Naruto said in response just to fuck with him. ''If you've seen the ugly I have throughout the years then either God doesn't exist or he just doesn't care. You guys agree with me.''

''Oh Naruto honey I've been part of so many _big bangs_ if anything had actually started a universe I would know!'' Six said in that sensual voice of hers and pointed to herself as her perky mugumbos jiggled with each syllable after big bangs.

''It's funny you know! Robot or Cyborg you seem to worship the belief of a god who didn't directly create you...I mean circuits and sudo flesh is mostly what you're compromised of right? So why do you worship a divine being?''

Gus responded with a fairly reasonable reason why, ''If we didn't believe in god we would have to worship the engineering dweebs who designed us.''

''And frankly the God I pray too doesn't need acne medicine and chronically masturbate.'' Six added with a crude hand motion simulating jacking off. She said as she sensually walked over to his.

''I'm a good man too! I know he watches over the Whipper and tends to my every need!'' The chameleon said inhaling half the water from his bottle. ''And nothing will ever get me to think differently.''

''Excuse me!'' T'nuk spoke up in a self important tone. ''God was a woman and I was made in her image!'' She declared truly delusional.

''On second thought.'' Whip cracked in response to T'nuk's comment relating to the cow alien's hideousness.

''All very valid reasons, well except for T'nuk cause if she was made in god's image that's one scary god! Then again that might explain why we never see her.''

''Oh go fuck yourself Uzumaki!''

''Though I still hold on to the belief of the Big Bang! I'm sorry but having people like Adam run around, despite the delicious humiliation I've inflicted on him throughout the years make me skeptical. Why am I skeptical? Because he's still alive and a highly decorated officer while I'm thought of as a disgrace and scoundrel! Can you believe that?''

''Well you did deflower the daughter of the head of the Confederation! That might have something to do with it, you know it going on the web and all.'' Gus said as Naruto's eye began to twitch.

''Regardless!'' He raised his voice. ''I don't believe and that's that.''

''How dare you speak that way about our creator? With divine magnificence created a universe filled with such extraordinary the beauty all around us?'' Gus said in tone of grandiose.

Naruto looked around and he didn't see any beauty. Just Whip picking his nose and drawing out a snot stain, T'nuk scratching her fat hairy ass and Six scratching the bottom of her removed left foot.

''This divine beauty makes me want to hurl!'' Naruto said as his face scrunched up. He didn't know why he liked screwing with his crew mates when nothing was going on. Oh yeah...noting else was going on! At least if Koji was here they could go on assassin missions or he could make fun of Kiba and send him on dangerous missions. Hell he would even settle an appearance by that god damn break dancing baby! Which reminded him! He still needed to kick Deltabeta's ass for telling him that damn story!

''When do we leave?'' Whip asked as Naruto snorted.

''We? Oh no there is going to be no we.'' He said as he began clarifying just who he planned on taking. There was no point spending money when he wasn't going to be in this dimension that much longer. ''You know how strapped for Cronics I am? Thanks to miss eat up all our budgets in beauty products when it doesn't do a damn thing!''

''HEY! I have you know looking this good takes effort!'' T'nuk said as Naruto blanched and screamed rather audibly.

''Whoa uncle Naruto are you okay?'' Whip asked as Naruto clutched his chest and began breathing in and out. Normally he would tell Whip to stop calling him uncle because he wasn't his uncle, but he was still too busy getting over his mini-freak out.

''I just realized that if this is T'nuk WITH the make up I don't think my heart can take it seeing her without. T'nuk I order you to keep wearing make up at all times!''

''You are such a little bastard you know that!''

''Hey I try my best.'' He said with a shrug as he managed to calm down.''And because of such reasons the only one I'm taking is Gus!''

''Naruto...baby.'' Six said as she started crawling over to him.

Of course the sight of Six's ass cause Whip to squeezer his bottle in an action reminiscent to ejaculation.

''I would really liek to go with you and Gus.'' She said grinding her perfect body against his. ''I always wanted to make love to the man himself.''

''Whoa...really?''

''Oh yes...just when I moan...oh god...OH GOD!'' She said making orgasmic moans and thrusting motions. ''I REALLY wanna mean it.''

''Next time...'' He told her as she got up and walked away in a huff. ''Alright set a course to whatever the hell we have to go! He declared as T'nuk put in the command only for nothing to happen. ''Damnit Bob what now?''

''BOB! Come on Bob you Agoraphobic! Let's get going!''

''**You know T'nuk I may be a spaceship who has an ironic fear of space, but do you always have to reduce me to a one word label? That hurts! How would you like it if I did that to you?''**

''Oh please! Like you could ever sum up any of us with a one word label.''

**''Okay whatever you say.'' **He said as he proceeded to describe T'nuk, Six, Whip, Gus, and Naruto in one word. ''**Bitch! Whore! Slacker! Wimp! Ass-hole!" **He said as he shot forward with near neck breaking speeds.

''I swear if it wasn't for the Speed Bob would have been sold a long time ago!"

**''I heard that!''**

''You were suppose to you space fearing pussy!''

Docking into the colony Naruto went inside the space station and went to buy a ticket. A schedule flight was set up for tomorrow so Naruto bought two tickets and returned back to Bob_. ''Come tomorrow I'm going to find out if I'm going to get out of this crap-sack universe or not!''_ He thought entering his room only for the door to close behind him revealing Six.

''Hey there Captain why don't I help you..._relax.'' _She said flipping one of the switches and dimming the lights and pushing him unto the bed.

''_Huzzzah!'' _Naruto cheered in his mind as he was ready for a night of happy fun time.

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	3. God or the Bang Part 2

Rifts that Naruto Trips

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Naruto x Harem

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''Normal Speech''

_Inner Thoughts, Dialogue, or reading passages from books and scrolls_

(Quick Notes and Messages or Echoes.)

**(Dark over lapping echoes)**

**''Boss Summons, Demons, Dark beings speaking, Demonic/Angry characters Speaking as well as extremely Dark spells and Magic.''**

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Story start

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A goddess in human form. That was the only way to describe Six. Long legs that were nearly endless connecting to a very soft and very spacious ass with wide hips, flat stomach, and large, perky breasts with very sensitive nipples. She also had plump but not too plump lips and flawless skin. She was a walking wet dream, living perfection and seeing as she was pretty much created it made it all the more believable yet unbelievable.

''I'm not going to change my mind,'' Naruto said, trying to remain firm but his voice cracked slightly, he could feel his resolve slipping slightly.

''I know baby, I just wanted to say goodbye,'' she said in that sensuous tone of hers. He didn't say anything when she slowly brought a finger to his forehead and gingerly sucked her sweat off his skin, savoring his flavor. He wasn't even aware he sweating, his eyes never leaving her form.

''I'm serious Six...'' he trailed off as he pulled at the collar of his shirt. '  
>She leaned down so that her head was right next to his ear. "I know.'' she said placing her lips just behind his right earlobe and sucked gently. ''I just wanted to do something spontaneous that's all.''<p>

Without realizing it, his hand had come up and unwittingly wound itself in her short violet hair, her her to his neck as he pressed forward to take in her scent.

Immediately, his body was flush against her as they fell down onto the bed. . Without missing a beat, his fingers trailed along her impossibly perfect form.

Having Six pressed against him this way was like being encompassed by a living mold that changed depending on one's touch. She was just so soft and full it felt like his fingers would often be sucked in, especially when they rested against her naked breasts.

Six hands began to explore his body, he growled and wrapped his arms beneath her, pulling her tighter against him. His right hand slid up her dress, his hand glided over her dark blue tongue and ventured up her body, palming her breasts, enchanted by her rather spontaneous decision as she called it. She moaned and arched into him, her arms coming up to wrap around his neck.

Her mouth sent shocks up his spine. She tasted of Ice Tea and honey. Each movement from her lips or lick from her tongue sent a new series of shivers racing through his body. She wriggled beneath him as shivers went through his form, the hair all over his body standing attention. A growl escaped his lips as he moved up and pulled her dress over her raised arms as he cupped her breasts and crash his lips against hers once more.

Naruto let out a groan as he could feel Six's delicate fingers massaged his crotch. Her other hand moved to his back, sliding his shirt up as she nibbled along his jaw line. Eventually through gropes and kisses Naruto's shirt was removed. Six hand's tugged at the waist band of his pants. His cock brushing against her thigh as his trousers was slowly slid down, his hardness restrained against the red boxers tot he point it looked like it was going to burst free.

''Hhm you're so hard baby! I'll take care of it don't you worry,'' Six's voice was deep and guttural, sometimes it was hard to remember that Six wasn't just a woman with an amazing body but a former sex slave of sorts. Six arched her hips into his already swollen length, resulting in Naruto bucked his hips against hers. A groan whispered in her ear as he copied her movement, grinding against her and allowing the friction to heat her center while he cooled everywhere else.

Six's hand slid down into his boxers and took a hold of his hardness. He was solid and thick in her hand. She began to stroke, resulting in Naruto moaning loudly and palmed her breast as he enjoyed the sensations of Six's hand. After a few seconds of bliss, he reluctantly removed her hand and pulled her tongue off her form and tossed it to the edge of the bed. ''I can't wait anymore,'' he growled as he pinned her arms to the bed as he laid a trail of kisses down her neck and breasts. Six opened her mouth as a moan echoed from her lips.

''Give it to me baby! Fuck me!'' she cooed as Naruto slid out of his boxers and positioned himself as her entrance. He could smell her sweetness as he rubbed his tip at her entrance. Giving in completely to his lust, he slowly pushed forward and watched as Six's bit her bottom lip and reached up and grasp her arms as she dug her nails into his hand. He let out a groan as her fingernails pierced his arm as he slowly filled her, aiming to reach the brim. Six was tight and the fit was rather snug; like she was crafted just for him. The tightness grew as he slowly moved against her, slowly speeding up as wanton cries escaped Six lips.

"Oh, Naruto," she half-moaned, half-screamed when he finally bottomed out. She ground her hips against him, desperate for some kind of friction because Naruto had stopped moving. ''That's it! Give it to me!''

Naruto pulled out, drawing another deep moan from Six; leaving only two inches inside of her before he slowly pressed back inch by inch. He could practically feel her frustration, knowing she wouldn't be able to cum at this rate. Naruto let out a choke cry of fuck when Six slammed up, her hips meeting his as she threw her arms around him and pulled him down. Naruto gave in to the sensations as his movements became fast and fear against her slick, tight walls. They knew they didn't have much time so their movements became quicker and they fucked even harder to bring the other to release as they could feel the sensations to new heights.

As Six's fingernails duck into Naruto's back her cries became louder. Heat feeling the room as feverish kisses were traded between them. The bed began to shook and the head slammed into the wall as a rhythm formed. Squeaks filled the room to add to the symphony of sloshes and moans. Finally Naruto exploded inside of her, his hips grinding into her form as he proceeded to piston into her as spurt after spurt of his cum filled her.

''Hhm that's it!'' Six cooed as she placed a hand under his chin and brought her lips up to meet Naruto as he softly thrust into her as he continued to cum. After a few more spurts Naruto pulled out and formed a hand seal as a second Naruto was created. Before Six could say anything the second Naruto placed a cock to her lips, pleading for entrance. Six relented as as took the meaty cock into her mouth and began to blow the second Naruto and caressed his balls as she leaned forward and used one arm to steady herself, letting out a surprised moan as the other Naruto grabbed her hips and situated her so she was above him and slid him down her cock. Her plan to convince her captain was fading from her mind as she was being screwed into a sexual bliss. Soon several more Narutos popped into existence letting her no she was going to be at this for a while.

Unknown to Six the original Naruto had slipped away, dashing down the hallway and pulling out a pair of clothing he had stashed away in a closet for such an occasion. ''Gus, shut up and get to the teleporter room!'' he said as he entered the robot's room only to see he had a make up kit in his hand and he appeared to be applying eye-shadow. ''I'm going to start suppressing this now.'' he said as he exited the room.

Soon enough they finally arrived to the space port. ** ''Passengers for flight eleven for the creation of time now boarding at gate one!''  
><strong>  
>''I'm going to go get something to drink! Wait right here!'' Naruto informed Gus, ignoring the Robot's protest about something or another. ''Galactic Cola? So generic?'' he said as he ordered one. He hadn't had a chance to replenish himself at that encounter with Six. He found himself pausing in mid-step when a rush of kagebunshin memories came rushing to him resulting in someone crashing into his and spilling his cola onto the hat of the person in front of him.<p>

''Look what you did you little jerk-off! You know me 500 Kronigs for a new hat.''

''500 my ass!" Naruto exclaimed in dismay. ''It was an accident. I'll offer you some napkins but that's about it.'' he said and paused as something struck his odd. '_That rather deuchey voice sounds familiar._

''Why I oughta...'' the person removed his hat revealing he was a purple blond with green splotches. ''Naruto?''

''Chode? What the hell are you doing here?''

''Going to the beginning of time! Once and for all to prove that it was the Big Bang and not some imaginary sky man that created the universe! How you been?'

''Good...but I can honestly said if I had realized that one of your crew members was a the cow beast from hell I would have only paid half of what I did.''

''Why don't you just buy her out?'' he asked as he and Naruto walked down the hall.

''I tried but she won't sell. I think 10,000 Kronigs is reasonable.''

''Sounds reasonable enough for me. Enough cow feed to keep her fed for weeks!'' at that they both left out a roar with laughter as they joined Gus who had just finished talking with his friend and religious freak Nancy, a golden machine just like Gus but female.

''Finally what took you...oh what in heaven's name is he doing here!'' Gus cried out rather dramatically as he pointed at Chode.

''Well hello to you too fembot!'' Chode remarked rather snarkily. ''If you must know I'm joining you boys on this little trip. Once and for all we can finally prove it was the Big Bang that created the Universe.'' Naruto began massaging the temple as he ignored the God vs Big Bang debate that broke out. Once this little trip was over at least things couldn't get any worse.


End file.
